“If social media is too much for you to handle, then don’t have a Twitter or Facebook account – just be yourself!” – Khloe Kardashian

Today, while searching for a reference image on the internet, I found myself on Facebook, again.

First, I checked messages. Looked at notifications. And then I began to scroll. And scroll.

Scroll. Read. Like. Scroll. Read. Pic of bearded man saying, “I don’t always, but when I do.” Like. Scroll. Read. Trump. Scroll. Monkey video. Scroll. Anniversary photo. Like. Comment. Scroll. A birthday! Like. Comment. Scroll. Moment in history. Hide. Scroll. Opinion. Scroll. Motivational pic. Scroll. Kid pics. Scroll. etc. etc.

I found myself caught in the Endless Scroll of Death. The next thing I realized, it was thirty-five minutes after I began searching for that reference image. Now, I’m behind deadline, need to drop everything for an appointment I have to go to, and kicking myself for wasting so much time on such a trivial thing.

How is it so easy to be distracted by social media – Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, etc. – to the point where the important things in life seem to fall by the wayside?

Recently, at the Natick Mall restrooms, I actually called out after waiting for over 5 minutes to use a stall, “Gentlemen, please – people are waiting out here. Turn off your phones and finish your business.” The man behind me laughed, and I smiled. Surprisingly, right after I spoke up, three toilets flushed and young men emerged, hurrying to the exits (skipping the handwashing). 

We all know of the epidemic where common, daily routines have become tightly wrapped in distraction. People continue to text & drive, knowing full-well that people are dying in accidents. People are walking into telephone poles and off cliffs searching for Pokémon. And everyone missing opportunities for physical interaction and connection in favor of staring at a screen. 

Perhaps it has to do with that boost of dopamine I wrote about previously, and the craving to be constantly in-the-know and in touch with what our friends are up to, at every moment.

Musician, Bryan Adams, once said, “if your music is great, then you’ll have fans – not because you spent time chatting on social media!” Real -world and -time interactions make life so incredible and when used appropriately, social media is a fantastic tool to enhance those experiences.

The challenge is that we’re becoming boxed into a single style of using social media, cutting & pasting billboards of other people’s work and ideas – stifling our own creative thinking and pursuits. So many artists forfeiting their own work to post a Picasso. Musicians giving up recording time to post 80’s rock videos. Cooks not baking, but posting recipes they’ll never make. We repost a thousand how-to videos, yet never make any of our own.

I’m not even going to discuss the current whirlpools of politics or environmental issues that suck people in and drown the rest of us in posts, unaware that people are unfollowing or unfriending them. A close friend recently shut down his accounts, citing that he wouldn’t rejoin social media until after the election.

So, what can we do to break the social media grip and rejoin happier pursuits?

• Leave the phone behind. My mom used to tell me to put a dime in my shoe, should I need to make an emergency call at a pay phone. I never used that dime, not once! Now, when I go out to eat, a show, or hang with friends, I choose to leave my phone in the car. It’s been a great way to immerse in my experiences, without distraction.
• Schedule Check-In Times. Kids texting on bikes. Adults Instagramming at red lights. It’s a wonder anything gets done at all! I try to check my phone only on the half-hour or hour. When I look at the clock and realize, “it’s noon! Time to check my status!” it’s a treat! If you find you’re checking your screen every ten seconds, maybe this can help? Or maybe set specific times, like when you brush your teeth, just before sitting down to a meal, or at bed time?
• Remove Annoying, Disrespectful, Useless, or Vacant Friends. Sounds harsh, but if you sat next to someone on a train who farted, belched, and drooled constantly, you’d move. So, if a “friend” posts political, ethical, or religious opinions drastically different than yours, you should probably move, then, too. I recently removed people whom I hadn’t heard from in a year, with no regrets. I also unfollowed others whose posts are annoying. Once you remove negative, toxic, or vacant people from your list, you’ll definitely feel a weight lifted from your feed.
• Stop Responding to Every Post! If you respond to everything offensive, political, opinionated, or trolling, then maybe consider just not responding. What movie was the best movie of 1984? What band was better at Disco? Fun stuff, unless you don’t have time. If you’re replying to every post and forget to pay the bills, then maybe there should be concern.
• Use Your Phone’s Alarms as a Personal Assistant. When I spend more time on Snapchat than I do on chores, then I need someone to step in and let me know. Enter, my phone! One of the best things about my phone is the ability to set reminders. Whether setting an alarm clock to go off when I want or to tell Siri (iPhone) to “send me a reminder in 10 minutes.” I can’t tell you how often I use these features! Whether to pick up my kids, begin making dinner, call my mom, even to just stop and smell the air around me. It’s a huge part of my routine and helps me keep on task and focused. 
• Take a Day Away. Often, I like to commit myself to taking a day off social media. It’s not hard and doesn’t really affect much. But, I’m always amazed at what I get done in that day. Sometimes, I get daring and take a weekend off, which is just crazy, I know!
• Log Off or Delete the App, Completely. Entering my username & password is a pain in the keister. So much so, that I’ll often just say “never mind,” and skip checking Facebook. If I’m overdoing it, I’ll sometimes delete the app, altogether. Having to download and set it up, again, is a royal pain. When I do this, I won’t upload that app again for days or even weeks. It’s a liberating, albeit strange, experience which I highly recommend doing just to see!
• Limit Where You Check Social Media. Our devices go everywhere, but, at home, taking a phone to the bathroom or beside you at dinner, is a good sign that maybe you could benefit from a change in routine. I try to make rules for myself, where logging on is a “no no,” like driving, mealtimes, on the potty, in company of friends, at work, watching tv or reading. Being immersed in a task, activity, or hobby doesn’t require distraction. I can’t practice ukulele if I’m watching Trump videos on FB.
• Respond to Real Info in Real Time. A friend’s parent is sick and in the hospital. Everyone’s posted “thoughts & prayers,” which I consider the most overused cliché in social media. So, why not pick up the phone and call that friend? Or better yet, if they’re close, drive to the hospital to offer support. It will a huge difference and deepen that bond of friendship.

So, after 35 minutes on Facebook instead of finding that reference image, I ended up spending more time spinning in a rushed circle to get myself back and kicking myself for wasting so much time being unproductive.

I find no success on liking photos on Instagram. No pay responding to Facebook posts. Regret after viewing 20 pics on Snapchat and not sketching a single line for a new drawing.

If you find that you’re spending more time on social media than doing things that make you feel energized and happy, then consider unboxing yourself and get free of the distracting routine that may be stifling your creativity, productivity, and general health and well-being.

Love & Cheers!