“Envy comes from people’s lack of belief in their own gifts.” – Jean Vanier, philosopher

If you look up the word, “envy,” it’s defined as, “a feeling of discontent, discord, or resentment aroused by the success, possession, abilities, qualities, or good fortune of others.”

Much of the angst and strife in our world is caused by the envy some people have toward another. We all experience it. Just yesterday, I saw a bright, matte finished powder-blue Porsche with garnet red rims pass by me on the road. I thought it looked awful and I cringed. However, it only took a moment to realize that it was actually really beautiful and unique and my initial thought was merely envy.

So what good does envy do in our lives? Why are we built with it? And is it something we can control?

Why envy?

Much of what is out there talks about envy as this really bad, elusive force that blinds people and pushes their insecurities to the forefront of their thinking. “Envy blinds men and makes it impossible for them to think clearly,” said Malcolm X. But I don’t know if I agree with that, completely.

Sure, when we envy someone else, it becomes a momentary focus of what they have and not about what we have. It puts their subject matter in the spotlight and pushes ours into the shadows. But there must be a reason we were designed with this reactive behavior.

A built-in slap in the face.

Whenever I see something that makes me feel envy or jealously, I immediately despise it. I want to escape it, criticize it, sneer at it, or like Brad Pitt’s character in the film, Fight Club, when he messes up Jared “Angel Face” Leto’s face so badly, I want feel like, “destroying something beautiful.”

It took me a long time to realize that the reason I was feeling so much emotion toward that thing was because it made me feel like either I wasn’t good enough or that my work wasn’t good enough.

At the beach recently, I walked past a 20-something year old male lifeguard. He had long, curly hair in a bandana, slim, muscular chest and arms, spectacular tan, and young ladies giggling all around him. The first thought in my head was, “he’s a really good looking kid, but boy, are his legs skinny!” I’m not sure why that formed in my head, but I felt myself suck my stomach in and stretch a little taller as I walked by, some prehistoric ego left-over from my days of being a 20-something, myself. 

Keeping the green devil on a short leash

What I found is that whenever envy bubbles up inside me, I have to address it immediately, so I can move away from it and get on with things. That blue Porsche was really nice – but, I have a great car and I’m perfectly happy. That lifeguard was in top condition – but, he’s young and I’m not; I was that age once and had a blast, so good for him for being young and in great shape. Enjoy it while you got it!”

And when I see artwork that gets me going, I hurl myself away from the envy and embrace the inspiration. My friend and mentor, Ed Colley, said to me recently, “Envy is a good thing – it stirs you up inside and makes you want to be better at what you do!” Envy thrives on a competitive nature and when we see others in a light that makes us jealous, perhaps it’s because we aspire to be at their level or to have what they have or be like they are.

In the end, we are exactly what we make ourselves, and I’ve found that the most beautiful people can sometimes be lacking in humility; the best artists can often be the most rude; and the people who think that “he who dies with the most toys wins,” has unfortunately missed the part about, “you can’t take it with you, chum!”

Love & Cheers!